I’ve decided to start over. I’m not going to be that girl anymore. I don’t want to look at my life 5 years from now and realize that I’m still unhealthy, that I still weigh 200+ pounds, and that I have not made any significant changes to my health and appearances. I have given up too much of my life to being sick and unhealthy, and from now on I am going to change that.
I know that making a drastic change doesn’t happen in one day. I know that there will be setbacks and problems that crop up that I cannot even begin to fathom now. I know that I cannot control everything, and I also know that if I tried I would go crazy.
What I do know is that each change starts with me. I decide where my life will be in five years, and what I commit to now will make a difference for the rest of my life.
I am not healthy right now. I can barely walk up two flights of stairs without wanting to sit down. It took a lot of effort to walk a mile this morning, and even cleaning the bathroom makes me tired. I don’t sleep well at night. I wake up a lot and it usually takes me awhile to fall asleep. And even though I am conscious of how unhealthy the food I eat is, I still eat it and have little to no self-control over when to stop.
The good news is that I am in a better place emotionally than I was a year ago. I still miss my family back in California, but I am starting to enjoy where I live. I have a good job with lots of opportunities ahead, and I have met some very kind and wonderful people. I am also starting to believe that Phil is going to be the man I spend the rest of my life with, and, in that regards, I have absolutely no regrets.
However, how long will my life be if I don’t start taking care of myself? How are we going to be able to do all the things we want to do in the future if I can barely get around now? With those things in mind, I’ve decided that it’s time for a change.
And it starts now. It started this morning when I pushed through the fog to keep on cleaning even though my legs were tired. It started when I took the dogs out for a walk and went that extra loop in the graveyard because I didn’t want to do things halfway.
I’ve never been that type of person in my professional career. I would never do something half-assed because I was tired, so why am I doing it in my personal life? Why is being good at work more important to me than being healthy at home? I can’t honestly answer that, but as of right now, I am going to make an effort.
No more doing things half-baked at home. No more only living my life at fifty percent. And no more saying I can’t do something I want to do because I weigh too much. My life started twenty-six years ago and so far I haven’t done much but let it slide away in sodas and cake. From now on I will make the decisions based on how it makes me feel in the long run, rather than a quick fix.
I am going to make changes that will allow me to live my life to the fullest and wake up everyday refreshed and excited for the new morning.
My life might have started all those years ago, but as of now, I am going to start living it.